Unexpected Confession

Things has actually been peaceful since that marriage conversation.

Almost TOO peaceful.

Of course we talked more about what happened, he said lots of reassuring things but one comment that actually made me feel better is this,

Background: we are still talking about marriage, and I was listing my criteria.

Me: hmm, if I love him, and he is a good person, I am ok with it.

Mickey: What kind of people are ok?

What about me?

Of course, he didn't mean it like that. But just a fake assurance made me feel like a weight has been off of my shoulders.

I guess sometimes, words we don't really mean can really save someone else.

Like complementing a friend just to be nice.

OMG, you look great!

Someone please slap me if I believe those words again.

Then for the next day, we were all lovey-dovey promising each other to try our hardest and sincerely in our relationship.

The is what I decided to do after talking to him,

I believe he really has been hurt from his last serious relationship, and he is very very insecure for that reason.

I remember even before we were going out, he texted one of the duckies to tell her to watch out for me so no one will steal me away.

Being insecure and paranoid is my personality, so I completely understand what he feels like.

Unlike me, I think I can hide my anexioties rather well,

at least better than him.

Even though I like him being protective and a little controlling (give me a sense of security), but I decided not to torment him anymore, distance myself from all guys.

Honestly, I prefer to hangout with girls anyhow and I can count the number of close guys friend with one hand, THREE.

Of course, life has to throw me a curve ball. I swear it hates me sometimes.

Now I will narrate the following stories in chronological order or else it might just get a tad confusing.

I got a text from A (one of my guy friend). He is the definiantion of a nice, quiet, smartie.

We used to get into these nerdy descuission about engineering and such, but because of his busy schedule, we don't hang out much in school.

However, a few weeks back, i heard from a friend that he was joking around about me, "hot asian girl" as i quote with his guy friends.

Of course, we all know what guy talks means. I don't even want to think about it.

I was mad. It's a small betray in my book.

So i ignored him on facebook, text, and whatever.

Eventually he apologies, and me being a good friend took him back.

I mean only three guy friends, so I do value him.

So yesterday on skype, he was talking to me at first about planes and airlines.

I suddenly thought of Mickey, so I asked Mickey what airline he is taking in a few days.

But mickey was away so the message was send, but he didn't read it yet.

Me and A continued talking, then out of the blue. He told me that he wanted to date me when I broke up with H-bear.

But for lots of reason, he didn't. Because he didn't want to get distracted.

So it was starting to get awkward for me, but of course I have to nip the thought in the bud, so I explained to him why it's best that we are still friends.

I told him, that I am not into serious serious (like marriage) relationship, and of course because of my boyfriend and blah blah blah.

But he said he would wait till I am in grad school, and it would be perfect timing.

I mean what am I suppose to say to that?

Awardward situation is not for me.

So instead i just joked around about fate, and moved on to a different subject.

After this, Mickey finally came back and started to talk to me.

Without thinking, I acted very suspisiously.

I still can't figure out whether it's because I am a bad lier, or because he is very sensitive to my mood.

He knew something was up, and keep on asking why I asked about the airline.

I didn't want to talk about A, so I BS-ed my answer and danced around the subject.

Of course, that only made it worse.

Then he got mad? I am not sure, but he logged off of skype.

This is the first time that he got off earlier than I did.

So i freaked out and texted him asking if he was mad. But all I got is "no, go to bed"

I might be bad at picking up subtle vibs, but any person with a EQ above a 2 can tell, he was not happy.

And I JUST made the promise of not to make him worry.

So I was stuck in rock and a hard place.

Plan A: I don't tell him what happened, but he over thinks things. This will definaly be a problem later.

Plan B: I tell the truth. But of course he is not going to be happy. A, it's nice knowing you. Our friendship ends here.

I ended up doing plan B.

And I am glad I did.

Of course, he is angry at A, but I think he was happy with my decition of dropping A as my friend.

However, I did get a lecture on how there is no true "friendship" between a girl and a guy. Also, I was repremended on not telling him what's up from the beginning.

Ah well, I am happy with my decition, and it has put a peace to my mind at least.